Mama wants a new pair of shoes!

So part of my passion of crochet at the moment is web surfing to find all the fabulous patterns and look at what wonderful creations designers make. This week was no different other than I found a pattern I positively could not sit down and wait to make. To top it off, I have had the whimsical pair of dragonfly buttons that I knew I wanted to use but hadn’t found the “just right” project for..this was that project.

Lisa posted this wonderful patterns for a pair of Mary Janes..that are positively adorable and you can tweek them so many different ways depending on the look your trying to achieve. You can find her pattern here:

http://goodknits.com/blog/mary-jane-slippers/

This is the pair that I made from her pattern sharing…

 

I positively LOVso very simple to make and follow her instructions..not to mention they are so wonderfully comfortable and gives you that nice sense of coziness when you’ve had a long day.

In the midst of doing this pattern I’d also seen several seasoned crocheter’s talking about the “magic ring” to help you create the perfect circle…well that is something I sure needed to check out as my circles tend to look more like eggs, kidneys, anything other than a circle. I found an extremely easy to follow tutorial here:

http://carinascraftblog.wardi.dk/2010/07/crochet-magic-ring-tutorial.html

that completely and easily taught me what I needed and wanted to know. I’m still learning this craft..and I have a long ways to go..but with wonderful help along the way such the sites listed above..I’ll get there and have a blast doing it!

~Happy Hooking~

New Adventure….

Well tomorrow my youngest son and I gather up all my crocheted goodies and head south to my bff’s who also creates beautiful jewelry for a weekend long sale that we’re particpating in.  It will be my first, in so far as anything other than my shop on the web and that’s currently not going real hot but I haven’t put alot of effort into it thus far either.

As of this week, I am official with my biz name and all my other legal paperwork that I needed to actually own my own small biz and be legit…it’s both terribly frightening and exciting at the same time.

I’m so hopeful that things go well this weekend and I can get some sort of idea what folks like and don’t out of the products I have to offer….

We’ll see, it’s all over but the cryin now…..

Ambivalent about being ambivalent

It seems like such a silly thing being “ambivalent“. Which I suppose is just a big word for conflicted, torn, etc.

1. 

–noun.  uncertainty or fluctuation, especially when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.

2.

Psychology . the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings towardthe same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

This is how I feel more often than not these days and I’m not sure why. There are many big changes going on in our house and many things that I am now responsible for that I haven’t had to be for many years of my marriage. Understand that is not to say that I am incapable, however it is to say that when you haven’t done something for any length of time or never at all to begin with, especially at this point in my life, is both intimidating and overwhelming at times.

I have both grown (and by grown I mean early 20’s) children and a young son that is 12 yo. This makes for an interesting dynamic in our home. You would think, or at least I would that, that would make things easier; but at times I think it almost makes things more difficult at times. You can’t spank them or send them for a time out; they’re not naive enough to believe most of the simple things you’d tell a young child to appease their questions or curiosity. And yet in other ways its a wonderful experience; you can have long grown up talks, they can go places with you and you can stay out past bed time, when you cry they come just a bit closer to understanding where the tears come from.

My husband recently changed careers that takes him away from home now. We’re both accustomed to working shift work and having odd hours, working holidays and all the things that went along with it. But seven months ago my husband lost his job and that was devastating for him and our family. We had to completely shift gears again, and now again. It’s really hard sometimes to get in gear and feel good and feel positive about the way things are moving and the direction they’re going. Not because things aren’t necessarily moving in a good way, just sometimes I think we want much more control (or think we have it) than we really do over things in our lives. That my friends, frightens some folks to no end, me included sometimes. I sink back into that idea that I have some control over my life and I suppose to some degree I do, but not the way I would like at this point. It leaves me feeling vulnerable and open/exposed.

It is a HUGE struggle for me to find my “zen” my inner peace for myself. I’ve had struggles my whole life with that particular issue. I know we’ve all had our own struggles, equally joyous and devastating in the lifetime given thus far. Like most things some days are good and some days are not so good…but I keep trying each day to find just one little thing to count as a blessing, to smile over, (not to say that there aren’t more) but some days I have to remind myself that things could be so much worse put on your big girl panties and deal with it!!!! Life is just that…Life : )

No Shame in my Game

Today is one of those days. I’m just not on my game and it’s not looking like I’m going to go in at the last quarter either. We all have those days; I know just some of us handle them better than others. I frankly didn’t want to get out of bed, I did, handled a few things and now I’m ready to go back. I don’t want to exist today. I’ve had my coffee it didn’t fix it. 

Yes, I am having my own pity party, there is no shame in my game, I can say it. Our air conditioning has been out since last week, with no hope as of yet of it being on the mend, I hurt, my hubby is still gone at “training” but not getting anything that remotely looks like a paycheck; and mine just don’t get it, things are starting to pile and that’s when I start to get that “flight or fight” syndrome bad. I’m tired of sweating in my sleep & in my wake not only from central Texas heat but freaking hot flashes and walking around looking like I just got out of the pool, in my work clothes! I’m tired of people saying one thing and things really being another! I’m tired of having expectations of one thing and then finding out I’m waiting around for something that so isn’t going to happen anytime soon. It’s all very disheartening.

Today I’m disheartened and I want to crawl back in my hole.

Thundering Squirrels Couldn’t Stop Them…..

If you know me at all, you KNOW how I feel about my fur babies. I love them as if they were my kids. My littlest guy is 12 now and there will be no more until there are grand babies and I’m not in a rush to get there either just yet.

So I thought I’d take this morning and introduce you to my thundering crew…as that’s usually what they sound like as they are all coming thru the house running and playing and/or as they are coming across/around my bed in the middle of the day when mommy is sleeping because she has to work that night and all stop to look at me as tho I’m the crazy one when I ask them “What in the (insert choice word here) are y’all doing?!!!

This is Boundreaux, a.k.a Boo Boo (the big blonde). He was given to my youngest guy by my bff about a year ago. He is the sweetest, gentle giant you will ever meet and that sweet face will just make your heart melt. He’s about 7 yo, and the perfect pal for a 12 yo boy. But don’t let these good looks fool you folks, just when you think he’s not paying attention and your going to get a tickle in on that 12 you boy…this guy will let you know real fast who’s boss, and it won’t be you.

 

This is Willie, a.k.a “Miester” or “Sir William”. He’s also about 7 yo. I saved him and his brother from being drown in a pillow case, in the river, because their mommy had hereditary mange. His brother stayed with us a few years before we lost him (God Rest His Soul) but we still have our little guy. He’s a Rat Terrier/Chihuahua mix and while he’s a little gun shy at first when he figures out if your friend or foe..he’s quite the cuddle bug.

This is Piper, a.k.a. “Pipersan” or OMG!! YOUFARTED on other occasions. Yes ladies and gentlemen our girl  has a sensitive tummy and she’s not ashamed to share it with anyone that will sit still long enough. We got Ms. Piper last year. She’s about 3yo now. She came from the animal shelter that my department is affiliated with, she was 24 hrs away from being put down and no that was not a face that I could live without. She has been a total angel in our life and I can’t imagine not having her in our lives.

This is Mouse, a.k.a. Meeses. She’s a 1 yo Dachshund that I adore. She is very much mommy’s girl and as you can see quite the little rotten one. She gives her mommy lots of joyous moments tho full of snuggles, hugs & kisses. However, I have come to decide that somewhere, I believe, she’s confused and believes she’s a parrot, as her favorite place to sit most of the time is on my shoulder and/or behind my neck if I’m sitting in my recliner…I guess it has the best vantage point for the shortest dog in the house.

I suppose the same rules apply with our fur babies as does with us,

TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED

Day two…

Day two of my blog…and here I am again..

It’s funny..throughout the day I have all the profound thoughts running thru my head until I sit down at the keyboard then suddenly I become a blubbering idiot..Not sure where all those profound thoughts seem to make off to when my fingers meet with the keyboard.

I filled out an application today to become a foster mother for rescued dachshunds. I don’t know that it will happen as I have quite the motley crew already but I hope that it does. I know some places are very particular as to how many pets are already in the home as well as what kind of pets, breeds, size etc…some of our babies are big, some small. Some rescues, some gifts, some just because mama had to have them, but all given all the love that our family could possibly muster. Our pets aren’t just dogs or mutts or whatever, they are part of our family. They legitimately play their own loving role in our family. I suffer from high blood pressure, depression and anxiety and each of my snugly Lil fur babies find their way into my lap, my bed, my couch, my space, to bring me love and reassurance when I seem to need it the most and seem to notice the least. My little baby girl, in the picture, my Mouse is the sweetest little girl (and yes I’m bias) and yes I’ve had dachshunds my whole life..but she always knows when mom needs a snuggle, or a hug, or just to sit by my feet or even to wrestle and giggle like we were both little girls! You can’t replace or fake that sort of love. I sincerely hope I can share my fur babies and myself with another Lil guy who’s lost and waiting to find a family that will love and spoil them the way we do ours, but if it doesn’t I’m sure there’s a reason and I’ll find another way to work that part out.

Day one….

Yes I am blogging…I’m not sure why but with all the changes recently in my life I guess its time that I did something to put my thoughts down and keep up with them. 

My husband will soon be out on the road and the kids and I are hanging in there. It’s very different when the dynamic of your home changes in a major way. Everyone has to adjust and almost start over as our roles change and we have to learn to work together instead of the parents doing everything for them.

I am hopeful that my husband can make enough money eventually that I can stay home, it would certainly be better for my health issues but only time will tell.

I’ve attempted to open my own online store..that’s not going so well. Nothing is moving and I’m becoming frustrated and with all the other changes its becoming more difficult to stay positive about it.

Having grown children in your home presents all sorts of new issues. Its having more adults in your home than “kids” but you still look at them as your kids, because they are!!! It’s difficult not to see them as your children and adults instead as they will always be your children. It’s definitely a challenge!

Oh well tomorrow is a new day and I again will try to do my meditations and my yoga and keep my thoughts positive and focused…its a new day and a new gift… and should be treated as such…enjoy your day to the fullest!